living water: My life. My Journey.

This is my blog. This is my life. This is my journey.

Over the past few days, I've been filled with joy. Yes, have there been a few moments of tears. But, internal peace transcends me.

But, there were more sobs in the 2 weeks prior.

This must be the difference between my faith journey from my teens to my twenties.

When my Grandpa past away from cancer in 2005. My first question was 'why God? How mean are you to do this?'

My first thought as I prayed next to her bedside on Tuesday (first I was praying, that's a step from my teens) was 'I thank you God for your blessings over Grams throughout her life. And, I praise You in this storm still.'

I've had to pause a few times over the past few days. Is there something wrong with me?

I'm not sorrowful. Will I miss Grams? Absolutely.

But, I'm filled with joy. What more could one ask for? She lived her life and kept asking us when she'd get to go Heaven.

She was a Christian soldier.

And, I think again Is there something wrong with me? Should I be more mournful?

Then, I think no. I have nothing to mourn. Grams rocked, quite simply. I have no regrets. We shared so much life together.

But, then I'm reminded of scripture. God has laid out our own race.

I'm running mine. You are running yours. Grams definitely ran hers. ~~(Ok, she hated sweat and running.)~~ She has crossed the finish line. And, is now soaking in the prize. She was very excited to dance with my Pop Pop.

I take comfort in the fact that God holds us in the palm of His hand. We are His instrument. For me, the only goal is to respond and use my time, experiences, gifts, and passion for His Will.

My Grams modeled that.

So, quite simply I'm filled with joy. If not, more joy than 2 weeks ago when the diagnosis came. Because, by golliday, God kept his promise to his child who built her foundation on a rock.

Here are some snapshots from this weekend.