As I traveled down the road and went through the interview process for a new job, doors that had been opened ironically closed (free housing, a roommate). I pushed on. I looked at apartments on my own. I was ready to take life by the horns—alone.
But then, I knew it was all-wrong. I physically, mentally, and emotionally felt it. You cannot negate feelings. It was time to reevaluate.
What was the problem? Didn’t I want to go teach little ones? Didn’t I want to be in a place with a “young population?” Didn’t I want to be surrounded by people who went to big ACC schools? Didn’t I want to have a better ratio for a husband? (slight barf) Didn’t I want to swim in a real indoor pool?
Two weeks ago, I left Cville for Cpep. My family was either at the beach or a wedding. There I was alone in my room-reflecting, thinking, analyzing, and rationalizing…
Snap. Crackle. Pop. Thank goodness little Keebler men didn’t pop out of my drawers. Nope, I realized I’m never alone. God is always with me. God sweetly broke me in those tender moments as he exposed my selfish, self-seeking ways.
The beauty is I arose wholly surrendered and knowing that my life is to be driven by needs not wants (which is a 3rd grade SOL). I need to live a Christ-centered life. Once again, God breaks me so that I rediscover this need.
My need is to teach third graders who need an oasis in their day, coach influential 8-12 grade girls, devote myself to finding a cure for cancer, and ultimately to serve and love others with a humble heart.
It would have been easy to not listen and to force my wants in life (here’s to swimming in a 10 m pool). Now, I must rise up, put on my shield, and take the road less traveled (good thing I love Tevas). I know all is peaceful in my soul.
The question now is…
What am I capable of with God this year?
Moral of the Story: My prayer the past 6 months has been that God's Will be done in my life. Now, I must embrace change, differences, problems, fear...and God's Will.
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