Would the real Justin Bieber please stand up?

I don't get it. Who are you? Why do you haunt me?

You stare at me from my People magazine.

My students sing you. I sing you and don't even know I am.

One student proclaims she cries when you sing "baby."

Christina posts videos of you as her gChat status.

Are you on Dancing With The Stars? Are you on H's 101.9 in Cville? Are you legal?

I know you are a boy and you make me think of the 'i before e, except after c' rule when I type your name.

I know you are not a NASCAR driver. Not on my gChat list. Not a third grader at my school. Not in a Harlequin book. Not a Facebook friend.

Who are you? And, how did you make the cover of People and not me?

Stop haunting me.

I do know Tina Fey is a fellow calvalier.

Moral of the Story: Justin Bieber is the male Jennifer Aniston of hair.